Me & My Symbols (FAWM 2014)

by The All-Girl Prison for Models

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about

These are songs written and recorded in February 2014 for the "February Album Writing Month" challenge (see fawm.org for info). I have wanted to do this challenge since 2012 and I failed 2 years straight to do anything. So, I was pretty determined to do it this year and I did it!

It was difficult and exhausting, particularly because I challenged myself to actually write songs rather than make them up on the fly. On a few tracks I did fall back on my improv tactics to get through some rough patches but I feel their use was appropriate (i.e. I really needed to just "do it" to finish).

credits

released March 3, 2014

All tracks by written and performed me except track 12, lyrics by Larry "Kingwood Kowboy" Jones.

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all rights reserved

about

The All-Girl Prison for Models Maryland

I record almost every night. The results are hasty and weird and embarrassing. I post some of them as albums. My goal is to find out what happens if I keep doing it.

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Track Name: Shoot Everyone in the Face
I'll tell the truth
I cannot lie
I've been harboring ill will
Toward my fellow man
But now I realize
My heart's suffocating
In a cage made of me
Now it's time
To release the light
Set love free
Let love be explosive
Burning like the sun
If this love were a gun
I'd shoot everyone in the face
Track Name: Virtue, Sweet Virtue
Virtue, sweet virtue
I never knew I was without you

I am a ball
Of glowing blue
I'm an ocean of souls

And I soar through
The voice of all mothers

It's time to pick a fight [repeat until tired of repeating]
Track Name: I Fell Down
Gravity can be so cruel
That bitch is always bringing me down
And I feel just like a fool
Every time my face meets with the ground

Yeah I'm trying not to cry
And I don't want anybody to see
I turn away and hide
I cannot face the limitations of me

Ooh yeah
Ooh I fell down

And now I'm feeling so defiant
I'm gonna stand up and put fate right in its place
I take a leap and then I'm flyin'
Oh, hello ground, I guess you know my face

Ooh yeah
Ooh I fell down

[sorry about this part, I ad libbed it when recording]
I cannot believe myself. Oh, I keep on falling down. I'm on my face. I'm feeling bad. I gotta pick myself up; dust myself off. I try again and I go as far, as far as I can go. But I don't know why this gravity keeps pulling me down, making me fall, I guess I'm gonna just gonna have to keep on trying, keep moving, keep running, gonna stand up and fight!

Ooh yeah
Ooh I fell down
Track Name: I AM A ROCK STAR
[Gibberish]

Bottle of whiskey and I am a rock star
Stay out my way now 'cuz I am a rock star
Don't need no music, yeah I am a rock star
Ain't no one listenin', still I am a rock star

[More gibberish]

Mouthful of candy and I am rock star
Puddle of vomit oh I am a rock star
Ain't got no clothes on, no I am a rock star
Don't feel no shame 'cuz I am rock star

[Groupie appears!]

I break my mirror 'cuz I am rock star
I roll in in the glass 'cuz I am rock star
I cut my face off 'cuz I am rock star
Now I am sexy just like a rock star

[Aaaand... gibberish.]
Track Name: What Do We Really Need?
What do we really need?
In what ways are we not complete?
How can we know beauty?
How do we know that we are perfect?

To not be haunted
By spectres

We are perfect
We are perfection
Track Name: To Be a Man (Is a Sickening Thing)
To be a man
Is a sickening thing
To rotting flesh
Our awareness clings

These are the facts
One cannot miss
We're stinking sacks
Of shit and piss

I dig my hands into the earth
I hear a lone bird sing
He repeats a mocking verse,
"To be a man is a sickening thing"

There ain't enough drugs
And there ain't enough drink
To pull a man
Back from the brink

Of the abyss
Oh how he tries
To find a little bliss
Before he dies

I turn my face up to the skies
I feel the sunlight sting
the vision from my eyes
To be a man is a sickening thing
Track Name: Simple Song
Well I spend my days writing simple songs
Anything I need to say is in a simple song
They take me so long
But still they're simple songs

I want to know the art of the simple song
And I'd love to touch a heart with a simple song
So I carry on
Writing simple songs

Although it's futile
I'll keep trying
Strike a chord and
Send notes flying
Let my voice roar
Like a lion
I will not stop writing
Simple songs!
Track Name: It's Not Fair
Intro:
"The playground is where all children learn the nature of the One True Law. As we grow older and childhood fades, The Law remains immutable and perfect."

Those kids won't let me play
And that one pulled my hair
The Grown-ups said I was to blame
And made me stand over there

So now I'm pissed off, I'm looking for a fight
I can find one anywhere
But the Grown-ups tell me, "Sit back down"
I'm tellin' you, it's not fair!

It's not fair!
(Well no one said it would be)
It's not fair!
(You can't expect everything to go your way)
It's not fair!
(You have to learn to calm down...)
It's not fair!
(...and listen to reason once in awhile... I... just... ARGH!)
It's not fair! I'm telling you that I won't play nice!

"solo"

It isn't fair
(Stop it.)
It's not fair
(Stop.)
It isn't fair
(Calm down!)
It's not fair
(Would you just listen?)
It isn't fair
(For just one moment...)
It's not fair... it isn't fair ... It's not fair!
(I am trying to explain something to you...! ARGH!)
Track Name: Bad Girl School
You had a fight with your best friend
And things came to a bitter end
She told her dad and daddy makes the rules
Now you're getting sent to Bad Girl School

Pack your bags and say farewell
You're headed for a special kind of hell
But you're tough and smart so you just might survive
Get ready for the fight of your life

You better carry a knife
Don't bother acting so nice
Your life just took a big dive
You better hope you survive

BAD GIRL SCHOOL!
Track Name: A River Wide and Deep
Imagine yourself at the bank of a river
Flowin' wide, flowin' deep
And on the sides of your perceptions
A truth slowly creeps

I arrive to tell you what
You fear you always known
Truth is that you
Are truly, truly alone

I am just a shadow
Conceived to deceive
There's no one here

But you

Maybe in a world of Forms, we could be together at last.
Track Name: I Can't Sing Away These Lonesome Blues
I have tried to forget since your goodbye
I regret there are things money can’t buy
What I’ve invested has no dividend
Our happiness was tested to its end

I never dreamed that I would see this day
I should have listened but now it’s too late
I might sail away on a solo cruise
But I can’t sing away these lonesome blues

No, I can’t sing away these lonesome blues
I spent my life and money just to lose
I called you my honey and that’s the truth
But I can’t sing away these lonesome blues

(instrumental)

My billfold is flat, now think about that
I must admit, I’m just your old door mat
I have learned my lesson what ‘ere the cost
I’m in depression deep like one who’s lost

I never dreamed that I would see this day
I should have listened but now it’s too late
I might sail away on a solo cruise
But I can’t sing away these lonesome blues
Track Name: I Won't Let the Fuckers Beat Me Down
Hours marching across my face
Day by day

And the years keep picking up pace
They slip away

Minutes drag me against my will
Toward the grave

Seconds crash against me still
Like a tidal wave

But I won't let the fuckers beat me down
No I won't let the fuckers beat me down
Track Name: Nothing Ever Really Happens
Just say the title over and over.