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Me & My Symbols (FAWM 2014)

by The All-Girl Prison for Models

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1.
I'll tell the truth I cannot lie I've been harboring ill will Toward my fellow man But now I realize My heart's suffocating In a cage made of me Now it's time To release the light Set love free Let love be explosive Burning like the sun If this love were a gun I'd shoot everyone in the face
2.
Virtue, sweet virtue I never knew I was without you I am a ball Of glowing blue I'm an ocean of souls And I soar through The voice of all mothers It's time to pick a fight [repeat until tired of repeating]
3.
I Fell Down 02:59
Gravity can be so cruel That bitch is always bringing me down And I feel just like a fool Every time my face meets with the ground Yeah I'm trying not to cry And I don't want anybody to see I turn away and hide I cannot face the limitations of me Ooh yeah Ooh I fell down And now I'm feeling so defiant I'm gonna stand up and put fate right in its place I take a leap and then I'm flyin' Oh, hello ground, I guess you know my face Ooh yeah Ooh I fell down [sorry about this part, I ad libbed it when recording] I cannot believe myself. Oh, I keep on falling down. I'm on my face. I'm feeling bad. I gotta pick myself up; dust myself off. I try again and I go as far, as far as I can go. But I don't know why this gravity keeps pulling me down, making me fall, I guess I'm gonna just gonna have to keep on trying, keep moving, keep running, gonna stand up and fight! Ooh yeah Ooh I fell down
4.
[Gibberish] Bottle of whiskey and I am a rock star Stay out my way now 'cuz I am a rock star Don't need no music, yeah I am a rock star Ain't no one listenin', still I am a rock star [More gibberish] Mouthful of candy and I am rock star Puddle of vomit oh I am a rock star Ain't got no clothes on, no I am a rock star Don't feel no shame 'cuz I am rock star [Groupie appears!] I break my mirror 'cuz I am rock star I roll in in the glass 'cuz I am rock star I cut my face off 'cuz I am rock star Now I am sexy just like a rock star [Aaaand... gibberish.]
5.
What do we really need? In what ways are we not complete? How can we know beauty? How do we know that we are perfect? To not be haunted By spectres We are perfect We are perfection
6.
To be a man Is a sickening thing To rotting flesh Our awareness clings These are the facts One cannot miss We're stinking sacks Of shit and piss I dig my hands into the earth I hear a lone bird sing He repeats a mocking verse, "To be a man is a sickening thing" There ain't enough drugs And there ain't enough drink To pull a man Back from the brink Of the abyss Oh how he tries To find a little bliss Before he dies I turn my face up to the skies I feel the sunlight sting the vision from my eyes To be a man is a sickening thing
7.
Simple Song 01:24
Well I spend my days writing simple songs Anything I need to say is in a simple song They take me so long But still they're simple songs I want to know the art of the simple song And I'd love to touch a heart with a simple song So I carry on Writing simple songs Although it's futile I'll keep trying Strike a chord and Send notes flying Let my voice roar Like a lion I will not stop writing Simple songs!
8.
Intro: "The playground is where all children learn the nature of the One True Law. As we grow older and childhood fades, The Law remains immutable and perfect." Those kids won't let me play And that one pulled my hair The Grown-ups said I was to blame And made me stand over there So now I'm pissed off, I'm looking for a fight I can find one anywhere But the Grown-ups tell me, "Sit back down" I'm tellin' you, it's not fair! It's not fair! (Well no one said it would be) It's not fair! (You can't expect everything to go your way) It's not fair! (You have to learn to calm down...) It's not fair! (...and listen to reason once in awhile... I... just... ARGH!) It's not fair! I'm telling you that I won't play nice! "solo" It isn't fair (Stop it.) It's not fair (Stop.) It isn't fair (Calm down!) It's not fair (Would you just listen?) It isn't fair (For just one moment...) It's not fair... it isn't fair ... It's not fair! (I am trying to explain something to you...! ARGH!)
9.
10.
You had a fight with your best friend And things came to a bitter end She told her dad and daddy makes the rules Now you're getting sent to Bad Girl School Pack your bags and say farewell You're headed for a special kind of hell But you're tough and smart so you just might survive Get ready for the fight of your life You better carry a knife Don't bother acting so nice Your life just took a big dive You better hope you survive BAD GIRL SCHOOL!
11.
Imagine yourself at the bank of a river Flowin' wide, flowin' deep And on the sides of your perceptions A truth slowly creeps I arrive to tell you what You fear you always known Truth is that you Are truly, truly alone I am just a shadow Conceived to deceive There's no one here But you Maybe in a world of Forms, we could be together at last.
12.
I have tried to forget since your goodbye I regret there are things money can’t buy What I’ve invested has no dividend Our happiness was tested to its end I never dreamed that I would see this day I should have listened but now it’s too late I might sail away on a solo cruise But I can’t sing away these lonesome blues No, I can’t sing away these lonesome blues I spent my life and money just to lose I called you my honey and that’s the truth But I can’t sing away these lonesome blues (instrumental) My billfold is flat, now think about that I must admit, I’m just your old door mat I have learned my lesson what ‘ere the cost I’m in depression deep like one who’s lost I never dreamed that I would see this day I should have listened but now it’s too late I might sail away on a solo cruise But I can’t sing away these lonesome blues
13.
Hours marching across my face Day by day And the years keep picking up pace They slip away Minutes drag me against my will Toward the grave Seconds crash against me still Like a tidal wave But I won't let the fuckers beat me down No I won't let the fuckers beat me down
14.
Just say the title over and over.

about

These are songs written and recorded in February 2014 for the "February Album Writing Month" challenge (see fawm.org for info). I have wanted to do this challenge since 2012 and I failed 2 years straight to do anything. So, I was pretty determined to do it this year and I did it!

It was difficult and exhausting, particularly because I challenged myself to actually write songs rather than make them up on the fly. On a few tracks I did fall back on my improv tactics to get through some rough patches but I feel their use was appropriate (i.e. I really needed to just "do it" to finish).

credits

released March 3, 2014

All tracks by written and performed me except track 12, lyrics by Larry "Kingwood Kowboy" Jones.

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The All-Girl Prison for Models Maryland

I record almost every night. The results are hasty and weird and embarrassing. I post some of them as albums. My goal is to find out what happens if I keep doing it.

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